Halloween in Australia is harmless enough. It knocks on your door, and you open to a smiling gap-toothed child in a witches hat giggling at the novelty of bargaining for lollies.
It's what creeps in behind Halloween that you should be more concerned about.
Those other American ideas that have no place in our fair, decent society like, for example, having to rely on tips to survive if you work in a low paid job.
Low wages and income inequality are the true American horror stories that we need to exorcise before they dig their spindly claws into the social fabric of Australia.
In reality trick-or-treating, warty witches and carved pumpkins stack up pretty poorly against our authentic homegrown horrors.
We’ve always marvelled in the danger that is life often in this wide, brown land.
Who hasn’t felt the rising panic of being swept out just a little too far from the beach, or the quiet terror of contemplating a night alone in the still, silent bush?
We celebrate stories of bush survival, fighting off shark attacks, fending off snakes and centipedes.
Even a trip to the toilet has its hazards!
This is the dangerous beauty of Australia and what makes this country and culture unique. In such an unforgiving natural environment, we all value a fair go, and decent wages and working conditions.
Imported American ideas like Halloween are fun but life is scary enough already for an Australian low-paid retail or hospitality worker, even without the prospect of the Liberals cutting weekend rates.
Business claims that cutting wages of our lowest paid will somehow power the economy is truly a nightmare on Main Street.
It’s an idea that comes from, and belongs to, the struggling US economy where the richest one per cent now own more wealth than the bottom 90 per cent. Is that what we want?
That’s why income inequality and surviving on tips join Donald Trump as American horror stories we could do without.
Let’s protect those things that we share and celebrate, like fair working conditions and weekend rates!